The Backwards Oscar Project: 2010

Sunday, March 14, 2010

New Blog

This blog was a nice idea, and I've learnt a lot from doing it, but I need to write about something I'm passionate about, not just kind of interested in. Something I can write about and have interesting things to say about on a weekly basis. This blog will soon be deleted. Please visit my new one:

http://armchairtimetravel.blogspot.com/

Storytime!

1
Jamal Malik, a child of the slums, finds 20 million rupees in a bag after a botched drug operation. The money belongs to a crime boss, who sends his men after Jamal, including a crooked cop and a hired thug who is secretly also a cop. Salvation appears to come in the form of a film director, but his wife murders him in his SUV, and her lover Aegisthus takes all the money.

2
Jamal, knowing he must fight Aegisthus for the money, convinces Clint Eastwood to train him. But a great darkness is coming, and Jamal must use his newfound boxing skills to travel to Mordor and throw the entire boxing ring into the fires in which it was made. Along the way, however, Jamal has a violent disagreement with that guy from The Wire, and is arrested for murder. But the love of Jennifer Connelly and the ability to light up letters and numbers with his mind allows Jamal to be released and continue his quest.

3
Jamal, upon reaching Mordor, is captured and forced to fight CGI tigers for the entertainment of unhappy suburban Americans. But he escapes, because he is himself turning into a CGI tiger. He meets one, they date for a while, but then they break up. Meanwhile, his notoriety is growing, leading Sauron to send a team of crazy American soldiers after him. But Jamal, remembering that one can never use too much butter, emerges victorious, and Snape gives Dumbledore something he can't take off.

4
Jamal the CGI tiger is supposed to be taking a boxing ring to be destroyed in the fires of Mordor, but falls in love with a noble tiger named Viola, who belongs to Aegisthus (who stole his 20 000 rupees in Episode 1). Viola and Aegisthus are leaving for America on a boat, so Jamal manages to get aboard. But the ship hits an iceberg and Jamal dies, leaving Viola with the boxing ring. As Viola lies on the bit of wood waiting for rescue or death, she wonders whether Jamal would have lived if he had had an English name, or wasn't a tiger. But she is rescued, and returns home to her town in Middle Earth to lead an army against Mordor, to hopefully destroy the boxing ring once and for all...

The Backwards Oscar Project

Sunday, March 14, 2010

New Blog

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Storytime!

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